Everyone wants to be the best, the brightest, the biggest. What’s more, we want people to know that we’re the best, brightest, biggest. That’s why we have world records, a way to officially recognise those beautiful titans. “But how do I become one of them?” I hear you ask.
Well, it’s pretty easy.
Guinness makes it free and easy to apply for the record-breaking attempt and they’ll observe and adjudicate it for you. Their rules are pretty common-sense. They want it to have a measurable record and one that someone else could break. Apart from that all you need to do is, well, actually break the record and let them see you do it.
There are lots of records out there and lots of other people who want to be record-breakers just as much as you do. The best way to improve your chances is picking the right record to break.
So, for a start, let’s get ignore all the records that would take decades to break, like Most Prolific Painter (Pablo Picasso).
How about “Most Pine Boards Broken”? Sounds fairly easy and pine’s not a very hard wood. You could punch or head-butt your way few a few hundred in a day, right? Well, ‘breaking-stuff’ records a bit popular, so you’d have to get more specific. Like, really specific. “Most Pine Boards Broken While In Free Fall” levels of specific. (In case you’re curious, the record for that is 12.)
Let’s go with something a bit easier.
How about a record about strength?
Well, again, that’s the sort of thing you have to be exact about. Are you pushing a car 50m fast as possible with a spear against your neck or lifting two buckets of water using nothing but your eye sockets? Because the time to beat on the car-push is 40.14 seconds and the buckets would need to be heavier than 23.5 kg.
What about, say, carrying a table with only your teeth? The record there is 11.8 m (38 ft. 8 in), with a person sat on the table at the time – the table was 12kg and the person was 50kg. No?
Right now, Lets Break The Record is organizing an attempt to break a world record for the most Largest Gathering of People Dressed as Video-Game Characters (at the 2014 Insomnia festival in Coventry).
All you’d need to do is dress up like Mario, get on a bus and show up. That sounds a lot more feasible than eyeball weightlifting, doesn’t it?
Just remember that the character you dress up as has to be video-game original – Batman doesn’t count, unfortunately.
No? Too nerdy?
Okay, let’s go for something that needs minimal effort. Something you don’t have to even move for. How about “Most lightning strikes survived”? You could make a little effort to improve your chances by grabbing a copper pole, running to the top of the nearest mountain and calling Zeus a dickhead. Just remember to last all the way to lightning strike number eight to beat out the current record holder, Roy C. Sullivan – struck by lightning in 1942, 1969, 1970, 1972, 1973, 1976 and 1977.
If lightning sounds a little… lethal for your liking, then there’s the less-lethal but more-energetic option of “Most Kicks To Own Head In One Minute” record? That one’s currently held at 127 kicks by Joel Leindecker in the USA.
Can you pulverize your own face into barely-human mince faster than Joel?
Doesn’t sound feasible?
Then maybe you should try a record nobody’s claimed yet. The Guinness website (at time of writing) lists no-one as holding the record for “Most Consecutive Forward Rolls Through Fire”. All they ask is that you let them verify the record attempt and you roll (through fire) at least ten times in a row. They don’t specify how big the fire is, or how hot it has to be.
No? Looking for something a little more doable and a bit less daunting? And ideally one that doesn’t involve catching spears shot at you from a spear gun, while underwater. (The record for that is seven in a minute, by the way)
The cosplay thing’s sounding a bit better now, isn’t it? Then come join us:
The event will be held on Saturday August 23rd
If you’re worried about dressing up like a crazy person, don’t. Lots of video game characters wear iconic outfits that wouldn’t stand out too much on the street – think Leon Kennedy’s sheepskin jacket, or Agent 47’s black suit and red tie. And even if you went with something really weird and Final Fantasy-esque, they’re aiming for a crowd of around five hundred people. You’ll fit in.
The event will be held at the 52nd Insomnia Gaming festival of course so there will be tons of others stuff to see and do. The whole thing’s about computer games and will have a massive LAN, Youtube stars, competitive esports, retro and tabletop games, and even massive music performances. Zane Lowe is the headline act! And there’s tons of Minecraft stuff there for the kids to enjoy too.
But obviously, the most important thing to talk about is the world-record attempt on the Saturday. Come in costume, bring some friends and make history!
Be a Record Breaker with WewanaPlay.
More information can be found here: